I just got back from a long walk in the freezing cold darkness of the night. I am numb from the cold!! Fitting that I'm now physically numb when earlier today I was emotionally numb.
Our lives keep plummeting into greater sadness!!! Yesterday was the worst day of my life. I thought we were losing Nina right then and there!!!!!!!!! After we got more medication and stabilized her, I went upstairs to take a shower. I had sent a massive group text to family and friends informing them of our heart ache and noting that I was numb from all the pain.
Then unexpectedly I got a reply text with the most glorious of words......
Don't go numb, just love!
Those 5 singular words instantly filled my heart with thankfulness and direction. My friend was right!!! My purpose in this nightmare is to love Nina!!!!! and Teddy, the rest of my family, and all of those around me!!!!!!!!
I am Rosy and the one thing that I can do for sure, irrespective of how nutty I get, is love!!!! I will fight to love and keep the numbness at bay!!
Please pray that we get fortified with strength and courage!!!
Praying for you constantly for strength and love.
ReplyDeleteThat's what you've done all along. The love in your family leaves us in awe.
ReplyDeleteStill praying,
Rolf and Trish
Dearest Rosy...I laid down last night praying and thinking of all of you. Praying that God will bless you with all of the resources, love and strength to get you all through this nightmare. When I opened my eyes this morning..I had nothing but tears and more prayers. I want so badly for God to take every ounce of pain away for all of you. My heart aches for Nina's suffering and it aches for the enormous amount of grief that this is placing on you and all your loved ones. I am so very sorry. With every ounce of my being...I am truly heartbroken and sorry.
ReplyDeleteI will continue to pray for strength and love for all of you!
Love and Hugs!
~Amy
Praying knowing that God has you under his wing. You are strong and you will make it through this darkness. Remember he is your Rock and your Protector.
ReplyDeleteI am being comforted right now by a devotional "Streams in the Desert" by L.B. Cowman
Hope this poem helps a little today.
"He giveth quietness." O, Elder Brother,
Whose homeless feet have pressed our path of pain,
Whose hands have borne the burden of our sorrow,
That in our losses we might find our gain.
Of all Your gifts and infinite consolings,
I ask but this: in every troubled hour
to hear Your voice through all the tumults stealing,
and rest serene beneath its tranquil power.
Cares can not fret me if my soul be dwelling
in the still air of faith's untroubled day;
Grief cannot shake me if I walk beside you,
My hand in Yours along the darkening way.
Content to know there comes a radiant morning
when from all shadows I will find release;
Serene to wait the rapture of its dawning-
who can make trouble when You send me peace?
May you find rest and peace today.