Day 188: Our Angel In Heaven

Monday February 21, 2011

Yesterday we celebrated Nina's birthday, surrounded by our family and friends. When Nina woke up at 11am, her face beamed. Eileen and I had decorated the entire house a la Sponge Bob. There were streamers, balloons, wall decorations galore. She opened her eyes and looked at me (I was atop the ladder) and said, "Oh Mama, thank you so much!! It's beautiful!!" I jumped to her side and kissed her sweet mouth. She asked me to help her sit up. Then she pulled me in for the biggest smooch ever! It was perfection, covered in love!!! Then she said, "Mama aren't you so proud of me for waking up in a great mood and being happy? Do I get all of my stars?" I giggled with delight as I kissed her mouth again and told her she got all the stars in the world.

Nina had the most beautiful birthday party ever! She was surrounded by every one who loved her dearly!! When we sang Happy Birthday to Nina it was the most sacred moment. Nina lay on her living room bed, surrounded by 40 people who loved and cherished her. She was in perfect Nina form. Hollered that we were too loud when we were singing so we softened our voices. She beamed when she blew out the candles! She even tried to smack the cake. Best of all, she demanded the biggest slice of cake ever!!!!!!

In the afternoon her breathing became very labored and difficult. We gave her more medicine to try to calm her down and help her rest. Before her breathing became even worse, she demanded and took a bite of her cake. Eventually we got panicked enough that we called Dan Brennan to come over. He helped us suction all the extra secretions she had and showed us how to lay her down in a way that would help keep her airway optimally opened.

After Dan left, Todd and I each lay beside Nina. We cuddled with her and all three of us fell asleep. About an hour later I woke up. Teddy asked that I sleep with him so I did. All night long, Todd and I kept vigil. Although her breathing was labored, Nina slept throughout the night peacefully!! I checked on her at 8:30 and she was breathing. Todd was asleep on the couch. I check on her at 9:10 and she was breathing. I kissed her and went into her bedroom to work on the blog. At 9:30 Todd raced in and said that she wasn't breathing. I raced to her side and started CPR. I don't know why. I just felt I like needed to do something. I breathed into her precious mouth about a dozen times. She took several breaths then I could no longer hear her heart beat. I called Todd over and told him we needed to hold her. I caressed her face over and over again, kissing every inch of her face and told her how much mama and dada loved her, how everyone loved her, how she was the greatest gift from heaven, our angel. Todd and I cried, he kissed her and told her also how much we loved her. I kissed her lips and told her our hearts belonged to her and that we would never ever stop loving her and that we would miss her terribly but someday, I promised, we would see her again in Heaven!!!

Todd and I then texted everyone that she had stopped breathing. Around 10am, Dan arrived and confirmed that her heart had stopped.

Our sweet angel was in Heaven!!!!!!

Nina was our angel on Earth and she is now and forever our Angel in Heaven!!!!

We loved you from the moment you we knew you existed, we loved you even more the first moments we held you, and we love you the most now and forever!!!!