Day 146

Monday January 10, 2010

To help relieve some of the stress in my life, Larisa, Sharon and Crystal took it upon themselves to create a support schedule for me during the mornings. During the weeks we won't have anyone staying with us, the girls rotate daily who comes at 8am to hang out with Nina while I take Teddy to school. I cannot express the immense help and relief this is! Like clockwork, someone knocks on the sliding screen door at 8am! Sometimes Nina is up and sometimes she is still asleep.

Larisa came this morning and Nina was up. Nina was so happy to see Larisa, so happy that it surprised Larisa a bit :) They talked and caught up while I was gone. Nina has been in love with Larisa lately and Larisa is reveling in it! Larisa clearly understands that when the queen showers her love on you, you better soak it up because you never know when she'll declare Off With Her Head! 

When I returned they were playing Wii and Nina was beating Larisa again :) Eventually, Nina got tired and fell asleep giving Larisa and I an opportunity to catch up. Larisa hung out for quite a while hoping that Nina would wake up. She feared that Nina would be pissed off if she woke up and found Larisa had left. An hour later, Nina had yet to wake up. Before Larisa left, she wrote Nina a note telling her that she had to leave because she needed to go to school and that she'd return to visit later. When Nina woke up, the first thing she said was, "Where's Rarisa?" (that's how she pronounces Larisa's name!). I explained that she had to leave but that she had left her a note. I gave Nina the notebook where Larisa had written the note and Nina....chucked it across the living room in fury! She was livid that Larisa had left! I texted Larisa to jest that she'd been right in her assessment of Nina's response but Larisa didn't find it humours...she was super sad that she couldn't have stayed! I reassured her we'd have another playdate so that the two of them could make up ;)

Shortly after her Larisa tantrum, I told Nina it was time to get ready for the doctor's appointment. Immediately she asked if they were going to put the pokey thing in her booby! My precious baby! I've discovered that it makes matters worse if I don't tell her where we are going. Unfortunately, telling her ahead of time also means that she cries on the ride over; at least it isn't as intense by the time we arrive because she has slightly exhausted herself and more so because we have made a plan about what we're  going to do after the appointment. Today, as I drove and Nina sobbed, she decided she wanted to have a Hello Kitty movie night with Larisa. Larisa totally agreed and the prospect of a girl's night slightly (slightly I say) relieved Nina a bit!

On my way over, my friend Mario called to see if we already had company for today's treatment. In fact we didn't and to be honest....I was happy to have the company. Each treatment has gotten a bit harder to do, emotionally for me that is. A part of me feels like there is a count down haunting me and that each time we have a treatment we are also getting closer to the decent of that countdown. I know it sounds completely strange! I am perfectly capable of doing these treatments on my own but the company is so comforting.

The entire oncology office knew Nina had arrived before we had even entered the building. They could hear her from the parking lot :(  Unfortunately, it took a bit to access her because she has so much tissue in her chest now. Eventually, she got accessed and she stopped crying. The crying is totally out of fear! As soon as that needle is in, she is fine. It is the anticipation and fear that works her into a pretzel...sweet honey!! While Mario entertained Nina by letting her buy a zillion new games on my iphone (when my phone dies I'm holding him responsible!), I caught up with Dr. Greenfield. We discussed how to apply the steroids in a way that would recapture her symptoms while minimizing the side effects we so deplore. Dr. Greenfield is simply a kind and attentive man and I always leave feeling more secure (and heard!) after speaking with him.

Before Nina knew it, the treatment was done and we were headed back home. Prior to picking up Teddy, we quickly rented a few new movies, including two wonderful Hello Kitty ones. While Teddy played outside, Nina had a snack and colored in her new coloring books. I felt simultaneously exhausted (from her crying) and reinvigorated (from her recovery!). I sliced her some more apples and kissed the top of her head, all the while thanking God for her indelible strength! Nina is a bastion of strength! I wish I could be like her!!!

Tonight, homework was not as successful. Teddy was pretty annoyed with having to do anything academic and especially because tutoring was resuming. Poor Erik had to take the brunt of the madness. Eventually, Teddy settled down and they had a productive session.