Thursday, March 24, 2011

Prayers

This morning I met with Joanne Singer, one of the loveliest and tenderest people I know and a brilliant researcher and academic I have admired for well over a decade. As I was leaving her office, Joanne reminded me that thousands of people are praying for me and my family. As I walked down the stairs in the education department, the truth of her comment began to resonate with me.

By the time I had buckled myself in and drove off of USCB, tears were streaming down my cheeks. Joanne was right. She was so right!!!!

For 7 months, thousands upon thousands of people across the globe have been praying for Nina and the rest of her family. Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Muslims, Hinduists, Agnostics and even Atheists have been praying in unison. Through this process my faith has been transformed. I struggle with the heaviness I feel of being abandoned by the God I love........but truth be told (when I'm not being stubborn and allow myself to reach beyond the pain) I understand that God has never abandoned me. On the contrary, I have been blessed continuously and Joanne's words reminded me of that truth. The reality is that my faith is palatable now. It does not fit a box or a name or a creed but it is truer than prior to August 19th, 2010. My suffering has transformed my faith permanently.

Today, a Mass in Nina's memory and honor was celebrated at the Vatican. My precious Linda has been working on this gift for the past month with her dear Italian friend Elisa who lives in Rome. Below is the email that Elisa sent describing the mass. When I read this, I had just dropped off Teddy at karate. I stood outside in the rain but it was my tears that poured!


March 24 2011,S Pietro 7, 35 am 
The square is beautiful as well as the light, today is a fantastic sunny day. Very few people, just thirty-four at the security gate. The going through the main entrance is like arriving at the waited final destination. Josè is already inside, close to the sagresty where a lot of priests are changing their clots with those for celebration. Josè does the same. Our chappel is that of St Joseph altar (n46 in the map http://www.erboristeriaedaltro.com/camereciprobeb/mappa_basilica_di_san_pietro.htm)......Fantastic! Don't worry Nina Dolores, we're all in the same boat and I'm sure now you're really very happy within His arms. Your mom is here with me, I know it, it's night in LA but she's not sleeping, she's talking with you! Josè says you're an angel now, so we've to pray to you , not for you...anyway, I'm really happy today being here with you and for you with all the people loving you...forever
Amen


Nina's life, suffering and death has moved people to pray and strive to live better lives. That is something to rejoice about!!!

36 comments:

  1. You, my dear friend, continue to stir my heart in directions I never knew it could go. You, Todd, Teddy, both of your parents, other relatives and dear friends are all raised up in prayer. I don't think that you can fathom how special you all have become to those of us following your journey. You are permanently carved in our hearts.
    Much love from RI
    Kim

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  2. Praising Jesus for the work He is doing in and through you and your precious family. My family continues to be blessed. We are having to make the very difficult decision this week to place our four year old with severe autism on medication. I became overwhelmed at one point today, and I suddenly thought of your Nina and of you sweet Rosy. I was shut up to God and His divine and sovereign will, and I paused to count my blessings and to thank Him for the gift of perspective He has given me through you and your angel Nina. Thank you, and yes we are still praying!

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  3. Rosy-we are still praying continuously for your family, and our hearts are still breaking over and over. You have impressed me throughout this journey in so many ways--your strength, your compassion, your determination. You have impressed me again with your ability to get past your anger and feeling of abandonment, because I myself am struggling with this. I can't even imagine the magnitude of your feelings. You are an inspiration in so many ways--I know you didn't ask to be.
    Nina will always be a presence in our life.

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  4. Dearest Rosy...Amongst thousands, I too have continued to pray and think about all of you on a daily basis. I do not think this will EVER change!

    You will never know how Nina and your family has impacted and changed my life and the way I live. I have become forever altered by your family's journey and Nina's life.

    She is the greatest of little girls with the most beautiful wings!

    Love and hugs always!
    ~Amy

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  5. Dear Rosy:
    Still in my daily thoughts and prayers. Your postings are a very important part of my day and I sure hope you continue to let us all know how you and your family are doing.

    Sending hugs from Healdsburg.
    Nanci Hockert

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  6. I find myself reading this blog entry once again (of the prayer service in Italy for Nina).

    And my breath is taken away at the shear enormity of what your daughter has done for all of us.

    Rosy and Todd, I don't think I can ever express in words, the wave that she continues to carry through thousands that she has touched. Nina continues to be a remarkable presence.

    I am in awe of the out pouring of prayer...and in such a sacred place as Italy. The arms that reach out to hold all of you is greater than one could have ever imagined.

    How beautiful!

    ~Amy

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  7. I am reading a book called "Heaven is for Real" and I can't stop thinking of your Nina. I thought the book would be hokey, but it's the sweet story of an almost-4-year-old boy who had an experience in heaven. What he saw and told about were things a 4-year-old wouldn't blurt out on his own. His parents seem really humble and legit. It gave me such tangible hope for what awaits us in heaven.

    Here I am, a stranger, rambling on about a book...forgive me! If you come across the book, give it a scan; perhaps it will lift your spirits a bit.

    Nina is being cared for. You will see her again! In the meantime, God's grace and peace be with you...my heart aches for you!

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  8. Thinking of you and praying for you...

    With love,
    Elizabeth Costa

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  9. Rosy,

    Hope all is going well with you and your family. I check your blog daily hoping to see if you have written. You will forever be in my prayers and thoughts.

    Anna Marie Bettencourt

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  10. Thinking of you and hoping that your family is healing. I keep checking your blog to see if you have written anything to update us. You remain in my prayers and thoughts...

    hugs from Healdsburg
    Nanci Hockert

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  11. Rosy,

    Thank you for continuing this blog. You, Nina, Teddy, and Todd have been and continue to be an incredible source of inspiration, hope, and faith for so many of us. I've never been much of a religious person, and yet I continue to pray with all my heart that you and your family find peace and comfort through the incredible love that you share, the support of your friends and family, and your memories and thoughts about beautiful Nina.

    It was so wonderful to run into you unexpectedly today and to be able to give you a big hug. Molly looked great in pink. Your angel in heaven must be delighted.

    I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Much love,

    Karina

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  12. Dear Rosy,
    You have been heavy on my heart throughout this Holy Week! I have no words of wisdom, and quite frankly, my silence may be the only appropriate thing I know to do. I just need to tell you that although we are technically strangers, you are on my heart & I continue to think of you, pray for you & ache for you & continue to love your angel!

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  13. Dear Rosy......we continue to think of you and your family and beautiful Nina constantly.....I pray that this week, while filled with continued grief, is also filled with hope and joy over the promise of the risen Christ. God Bless you and your beautiful family now and always.

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  14. Rosy, You and your family have been on my mind a lot this week. I wish that the amount of grief I feel for you could somehow lessen yours, but maybe my prayers will help instead. Peace be with you. Chris G.

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  15. Rosy, I still check this blog every night, and I think and pray for you and your precious family often. I pray that this easter brings you further comfort. Nina is with our risen Lord basking in all of His glory. Praying for you often! Christen Verroi

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  16. I check here often, but I know that you are just keeping on keeping on. Nina will never be forgotten. Your blog has taught me what it means to be a mother, and I know that one day, when I have kids of my own, I will strive to be as compassionate and patient as you. Thinking of you and your family often.

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  17. You, your family, and of course your sweet Nina, continue to be in our thoughts and prayers. May the joy of springtime bring you smiles -- a reflection of the joy that Nina brought you and so many others.

    Blessings,
    Laura

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  18. Rosy,
    Think of you often and pray for you the same. I too check your blog regularly, and trust you to our Heavenly Father who loves you with a unfathomable love.

    Blessings,
    Lynne

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  19. Happy Mother's Day, Rosy!

    I certainly know that you don't owe us anything, but if you are still reading these comments, will you drop us an entry just to let us know how everyone has been? I mean, I don't want to sound stalkerish... lol.. but I'll bet I can speak for a few who still check here that we'd just love to hear from you. We learned from you and Nina, we worried with you, we prayed with you, we laughed with you, we were angry with you, we were scared with you, we loved with you, we mourned with you, and many of us ache with you still.

    We have not forgotten Nina, your journey, you, Teddy, or Todd. Update us when you can, honey. Much love to you on this special day. If I can think of any mother who deserves honoring, it is you. God bless.

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  20. Hi Rosy....Terra is so right......there are so many of us out here who will never forget the journey that we took with you and your family and friends. I think, at least for me, that your absence is worrisome. I know I find myself worrying about you and Todd, and Teddy. And I find myself thinking about sweet Nina. May God bless your life as you walk through this sadness and please know that we are still here.

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  21. I can only imagine how difficult this last weekend has been for you. I could not help but think of you & pray for you, especially on Mother's Day! I haven't seen your words or heard from you heart in so long & yet, I didn't need to this last weekend - I felt it, I stood beside you in prayer. It's true, I'm one of those checking in to see if you've brought any new updates to us. Even if I never see another written word that you post - you will remain in my thoughts & prayers. I have learned from you. Thank you for sharing the journey.

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  22. I heard "DJ Got Us Fallin' in Love" today on the radio and thought of Nina. I had Panda Express today and thought of Nina.

    Still sending love to you and your family,
    Jill

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  23. I'm still checking in on you even months later. You walk though life with so much grace. I found your blog because I have a child with Autism and some how your blog landed in my email one day. Your stength has helped me with my relationship with my daughter and dealing with her Autism. Much love,
    Heather

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  24. Still thinking and praying for you and your family every single day. Every single day! I can't imagine the amount of love that is being sent to you at every moment - I hold you guys close to me like my own family, and I am sure every person who has read through your blog feels the same. We are all here for you - not just as blog followers, but as family and friends. We love you, and we hope to hear from you soon.
    Much love,

    Leah

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  25. Hi Rosy

    I too think of you every day. We do not know each other, but I want you to know I am praying for you and Teddy and your husband. And precious Nina must be smiling down on her mama.

    Hugs
    Peggy

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  26. Your family is in my daily thoughts and prayers. Not a day goes by that I don't worry about you and wonder how you are doing. Our family continues to pray for you, Todd, Teddy, and your entire family. On the third month anniversary of Nina's arrival in Heaven, I pray through Saint Nina's intercession that you continue to be blessed with grace, strength, courage, and love.

    With love,
    Elizabeth

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  27. I enjoy seeing pictures of Teddy in joyous moments on Todd's FB. I hope and pray you are finding those moments also. You are always in thoughts and prayers.

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  28. Rosy-
    I think about you and continue to pray for you and your family every day. Your story has been so inspiration and you have been so courageous to share it with us. I hope to meet you in person someday...Thank you for sharing about your family and your precious Nina...you are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  29. The abrupt silence since March leaves upsetting questions for strangers like me who've followed you along the way and prayed for you. It looks like you have retired this blog, so I need to force myself to stop checking it.

    Your darling Nina remains in my heart.

    Grace and peace...

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  30. Still praying for your family.

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  31. We are also still thinking and praying for you every day.

    -Whitney & Gus

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  32. Praying for you and your family. Still think about you often and pray for healing for all of you.

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  33. Praying for your family tonight

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  34. still thinking of you all......and praying for your healing

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  35. August 19th. . . Makes my heart heavy when I think of this dreaded day.
    I love you guys and continue to pray for your healing and peace.

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