He is back in school full time without any support from me. He is having multiple play dates a week and informed me last Monday that he wants to try new things in his life: first he wants to concentrate on sports then music :) More importantly, Teddy continues to talk about Nina. Most of the time he calmly talks about missing her and chats about favorite memories. Every once in a while he tears up and cries. I remind him that it is okay to cry and miss her. He frequently reminds me that her true self is alive in Heaven and I concur but explain that what saddens me is that I can no longer touch her body, hug her, kiss her.....and that it is OKAY to be sad, that it is normal.
Yesterday after school, Teddy had a play date with his buddy Jake. He had a great time, as always! When we got home I asked Teddy if he wanted a snack of sliced pears and he happily nodded yes. Then he asked if we could have our snack on the roof top :) Ever since Nina passed away, Teddy has loved crawling out the bedroom window and sitting on the roof top. He always asks for permission and I insist he have an adult present. I think he is looking for some way of reaching for independence, being a big boy. As long as he reaches for these opportunities safely, I'm all for it! I remember being his age and yearning for the same thing.
As we sat on the roof top, I asked if he wanted me to play some music on my iphone. He nodded happily and I put on one of his new favorites....Fireflies by Owl City. For about 30 minutes we sat on that rooftop. He chatted in between bites of pear and told me about his buddies, how he like the view from up there, how he and the cousins and Niels had tried to ambush the grownups, etc. His eyes lit up with each word he said. Periodically I couldn't resist anymore and would kiss his cheeks or nose or forehead. He didn't mind! Just smiled :)
Then he said the most magical thing ever.....he turned to me and said, "Mama....family isn't whose blood you carry, it's who you love and who loves you."
He said those words so matter of factly. I was left speechless!!!
He then added that his buddy Niels was his family and how thankful he was for all his friends.
I pulled Teddy into my lap and told him he was exquisitely wise and that I adored him. He wrapped his arms around my neck and said, "I love you too mamacita!"
|Roof Top Love|