Monday, March 14, 2011


Teddy is doing marvelously. If someone would have told me a couple of months ago that 16 days after Nina passed away Teddy would be back in school full time, having play dates and asking to enroll in karate I would have told them they were just falsely trying to comfort me. However, the reality is that Teddy IS a MIRACLE!!!

He is back in school full time without any support from me. He is having multiple play dates a week and informed me last Monday that he wants to try new things in his life: first he wants to concentrate on sports then music :) More importantly, Teddy continues to talk about Nina. Most of the time he calmly talks about missing her and chats about favorite memories. Every once in a while he tears up and cries. I remind him that it is okay to cry and miss her. He frequently reminds me that her true self is alive in Heaven and I concur but explain that what saddens me is that I can no longer touch her body, hug her, kiss her.....and that it is OKAY to be sad, that it is normal.

Yesterday after school, Teddy had a play date with his buddy Jake. He had a great time, as always! When we got home I asked Teddy if he wanted a snack of sliced pears and he happily nodded yes. Then he asked if we could have our snack on the roof top :) Ever since Nina passed away, Teddy has loved crawling out the bedroom window and sitting on the roof top. He always asks for permission and I insist he have an adult present. I think he is looking for some way of reaching for independence, being a big boy. As long as he reaches for these opportunities safely, I'm all for it! I remember being his age and yearning for the same thing.

As we sat on the roof top, I asked if he wanted me to play some music on my iphone. He nodded happily and I put on one of his new favorites....Fireflies by Owl City. For about 30 minutes we sat on that rooftop. He chatted in between bites of pear and told me about his buddies, how he like the view from up there, how he and the cousins and Niels had tried to ambush the grownups, etc. His eyes lit up with each word he said. Periodically I couldn't resist anymore and would kiss his cheeks or nose or forehead. He didn't mind! Just smiled :)

Then he said the most magical thing ever.....he turned to me and said, " isn't whose blood you carry, it's who you love and who loves you."

He said those words so matter of factly. I was left speechless!!!

He then added that his buddy Niels was his family and how thankful he was for all his friends.

I pulled Teddy into my lap and told him he was exquisitely wise and that I adored him. He wrapped his arms around my neck and said, "I love you too mamacita!"

Roof Top Love 


  1. God has indeed answered your prayers (and ours) for Teddy. How faithful he is! Brings a smile to my face thinking of the two of you on the roof! :-)
    Lots of Love,
    Lisa xx

  2. You did such a wonderful job (and still are) taking care of Teddy through out all of this, there are so many people out there who can use your wisdom and experience (once you're up to the task of sharing). You are such a blessing and even your writing style conveys warmth and tenderness, maybe one day God will lead you to write a book or give talks. You'll have a lot of support, I'm sure.

  3. Rosy,

    Thanks for writing in your blog. You are a wonderful writer, you inspire me. No, it's not weird to watch your children breathe, I too love to watch my grandkids sleep, their beautiful! God Bless, you, Teddy, and Todd. I will continue to check your blog to ready up on you and your family.

    With Love

  4. I have videos of my son sleeping, too :) I loved him before, but now I treasure him; I'm a sweeter, kinder mom since I've "met" your family.

    My son is only three, but he's very verbal, like Teddy, and I've noticed they have things in common, for instance he'll say sweet things like, "I love you, too, Princess" and he says, "Okay, don't companic!" or "I'm not companicking!" like Teddy said in regards to doing his homework. :) How funny these boys are; they're rugged, insightful and intense and yet have beautiful hearts and healing words. It's a lovely balance.

  5. Nothing short of an amazing boy :)

  6. Teddy's comment, " isn't whose blood you carry, it's who you love and who loves you" knocked me back on my heels! Such wisdom from such a little boy. I even quoted him on my facebook wall!

  7. I know we don't know each other, but I just wanted you to know that I have been reading your blog for the past 5 months, and my heart and prayers go out to you and your family. You write so beautifully and poignantly, and Teddy seems to be such a sweetheart.

    Just think, every moment of happiness you feel each day is a celebration of Nina's life.

    I just wanted to let you know that your blogs have had a positive impact on me, and as a fellow Santa Barbara parent, I send you my daily thoughts.

  8. I think about you everyday Rosy! I have been grieving your loss and at the same time, I have been inspired by your strength and love. Thank you for the blog. This rooftop story is beautiful!

  9. I have only recently found your blog and I wanted to say that I send my deepest condolences to you and your beautiful family.

    Teddy sounds like such an incredible and very insightful young man. I love the photo of you two on the rooftop.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  10. My goodness, your little power house of a boy is remarkable! How clear he see's and knows such deep insight. His words are that of "old souls" ...he has great wisdom for someone so young. Like that of Nina, we all have much to learn from Teddy....

    Thank you for sharing his heart, his wisdom and his spirit!

    Your children are a reflection of you and Todd...and they are truly amazing!

    ~love from,