Wednesday, August 25, 2010


I am very tired has been a whirlwind. I need to take a nap and I am going to, however, before I do, I wanted to share some thoughts on thankfulness that have been running through my head all day.

Thankfulness is a virtue that all parents try to instill in their children. However, it is one that is especially difficult to cultivate because it goes against most of our natural instincts. That is, it is much easier to be demanding than thankful. I know that Todd and I have worked very hard on training our children to have thankful hearts. Many a time we have felt that we have totally flopped. Both of our families valued thankfulness and passed that onto us as adults.

This morning, as I lay next to Nina while she napped I realized how thankful I was for her stinky breath and the way her lips always pucker up when she sleeps. Todd and I had often laughed about how sweet she is when she sleeps and how much we love her stinky breath in the morning. However, I don't think I ever really thanked God for those things or the million other things she does that are amazing and uniquely her!

My entire perspective on thankfulness has completely changed because of this situation. I find myself thinking about thankfulness more often now than at any other point in my life. I have been blessed beyond measure. My parents came to this country almost 36 years ago with little more than me and a couple of suitcases in their arms. They came to this country because it is the land of opportunity. It is so easy to find ourselves striving for more, yearning for what others have, searching for the next thing instead of cultivating our own thankful hearts. I am not sure why this is happening, nor do I delude myself into thinking I will ever know. God reveals His purpose on His time and I rest my heart in this. However, I do pray that one purpose, irrespective of outcome, is to remind us all of how blessed we are and how much we have to be thankful for!

I am so thankful for my life and all the opportunities I have been given. Believe it or not, I am even thankful for my current situation (not that I wouldn't gladly trade place with my child in a heartbeat). Trust me, just because I am not crying does not mean I am not in chronic pain. In fact, I hope that the pain will never fully subside because it is through this pain that I have become more thankful. I know it sounds weird, but I am thankful that I have an opportunity to
be a part of my child's delivery to Heaven, if that is what God has in store for her. What a privilege, irrespective of the pain, to have time with her. She could have easily been taken from us instantaneously, leaving us with no opportunity to have our eyes truly opened to the miracle that she herself is.

I am so thankful for every freckle on her body. I am thankful for how deeply she laughs when her brother does his bootie dance. I am thankful for how she wraps her delicious thighs around her daddy's legs when she is cuddling with him. I am thankful for her willful spirit. I am thankful for her desire to help, even with the smallest of tasks. I remember how one of her first utterances was, "I help mama!". She would often say that to me as I worked in the kitchen during dinner. She'd tootle over and say those words with her gorgeous smile and chubby cheeks. I am thankful for her hazel eyes, they are mine. I am thankful for her pug nose, it is her daddy's. I am thankful for how she adores her big brother. I am thankful for how she'd try to redirect me when she'd done something wrong. I am thankful for how she loves to kiss....even now!!!

If you have children, savor each and everything inch of their spirit and being. Be thankful.

Lastly, I want to thank everyone for everything they have done for our family. Every step of the way, we have been humbled by the out-pour of love and affection. There are no words to express how comforted we are in knowing that so many people care about our children, are dedicating themselves to prayer, and are willing to sacrifice their time, money, and energy to show us how much we are loved. You know who you are and we thank God for having you in our lives.
Having a blast with cousins!!!

On a hike for my birthday January 2010


  1. Rosy, you have completely captivated me with your blog. One minute I am bawling and angry along with you and the next I am at peace, reminded, yet again, of how great the love of our heavenly Father is. Your gift of putting words down is going to have an impact on many lives and you will be blessed for sharing your experience with so many. I will be praying for you continually and have asked the Holy Spirit to not let Nina's name be far from my thoughts at any time. I'm praying for rest for you today, my sister in Christ!!

  2. Rosy, thank you for the sharing the beauty in your pain! Your family is loved beyond words!I'm praying with every thought and breath for your precious family!love you susan

  3. Hi Rosy,
    Whenever I was going through pain in my life, my mother always used to try to make me feel better by telling me that God would never give me more than I could handle. That said, you are the epitomy of that statement. God loves you and your family. All your strength and all our prayers are with you, Nina, Teddy and Todd while you are on this journey. We love you for who you are and for all that you have given to all of us. We walk with you in your pain, joy, laughter and God walks along with you.
    Love from the Abarca family...

  4. Rosy and family;
    You are in my thoughts and prayers.
    We will be praying for a miracle for Nina. God is good and merciful. He is with you and your family. "His will be done" He knows what is best.
    With all our love and prayers
    Connie, Joe Madruga and family

  5. I don't know you or your family personally, but I have not stopped praying for you and your family every chance I get. Your trust in God is beyond amazing. I have a son who is 15 and my daughter that is 13 and last night when I finished reading your blog I felt your pain and yet I felt the peace that only God gives. I took a moment and kissed my kids and reminded myself of what I am learning through you right now..... Be thankful always....Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life and helping me see the beauty of God through your situation. I admire you and don't even know you! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! May God continue to work through you and your daughter. Never forget there is nothing that is impossible through God! With much love, Mary

  6. I too have been reading your blog religiously. I cannot agree more with all of the before comments. I am amazed in your faith and outlook. You truly inspire me to be a better person, Mother, Christian... I am moved by your strength. You and your family, especially your sweet Nina are never far from my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for helping me see the beauty in my family and all that is around me! God Bless, Melissa

  7. Rosy & Todd,
    We at Cambridge Drive Church are holding Nina, Teddy, and you two in our hearts and in our prayers. Miracles happen... grace is always there...

  8. Rosy,(& your entire family)
    I have known Todd since we were young & went to Monte vista Chapel, so when I saw that something was going on with the Fredeen family I quickly found out what it was. I immediately began praying & have continued to. I pray for a MIRACLE!! I know God can do that, if it is His will.
    I am amazed by the strength that you have, yet know that God is giving you more than you ever thought possible.
    I am praying for Teddy as well that God will protect his tender heart, & give him the peace that he needs right now & that his anxiety will cease to exist.
    Todd I am praying that you have the strength & courage to be the man of God I know you are & that you allow Him to carry you through these rough waters. Enjoy your family more than ever!
    I am praying for all 4 of you that the time that you spend together will be extremely special & every minute will be precious!
    I am praying for strength for you as you are tired & stretched beyond what a body should be able to bear. Make sure that you do take care of yourself though, as you won't be any good to anyone else if you don't. Sleep when at all possible, even if it is a power nap. Make sure you eat & stay hydrated too. I know you know all this, I am just speaking from recent experience of needing to do those things for myself, so I can be there for my 3 boys, ages 16, 14, & 10. Your sharing has made me stop & look at what I have & to be thankful each day, no matter how frustrating it may be, & to look at all the good things that God provides.
    Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your honesty & that you are telling it like it is, not beating around the bush. It is refreshing to see someone be so open.
    Love & prayers~ Carrie Kugler Gibson

  9. Rosie & Family,

    Since my mother in-law Tersinha told us about Nina's diagnosis we have kept her in our prayers. Today we begin a 54 day novena to Mary, 27 days of petition for Nina and 27 days of thanksgiving to Mary for interceding for us to our merciful and loving Father. We invite everyone to join us. Please pray a rosary a day for Nina.

    May God bless your family.
    With love,
    Elizabeth Costa

  10. As a new believer in Christ, I pray for Nina everyday and I know He hears me. Your family is in my daily thoughts and prayers and I am so thankful to have you all in my life (especially you, Rosy...what would I do without you?!) Please don't hesitate to call or text anytime you need anything, or just anytime you want someone to talk to. This message about thankfulness is one that will stick with me forever.
    Love and more love,
    Jamie :)

  11. Rosy, you are a remarkable person and mother. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us on this difficult journey. I am so moved by your words which convey your strength, wisdom and grace. Alex and I carry you and your beautiful family deep in our hearts right now. Nina and Teddy are so fortunate to have you and Todd as parents. A strong circle of love surrounds you. We are here for you, your neighbors and friends. Nadine and Alex.

  12. Rosy - My heart just broke when I heard the news this evening. Last time I saw you & the kids was, I think, when we ran into you at Tucker's Grove. As the mother of two young children, I cannot even begin to fathom what you are going through. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers, especially lovely Nina.

    Tammi Flemming
    (mom of Aidan & Savannah)

  13. <--- total stranger ... praying for you all, praying and praying.