Friday, August 27, 2010


As parents, we have taken the shaping of our children's character very seriously. About 8 months ago, Teddy and I got into an argument about homework...I wanted him to finish and he wanted to complain. He asked why I was so bossy (Hmm....not sure why he'd ever think that!) and I explained that I wasn't being bossy just being his teacher. Then, with the most confident of 7 year-old faces, he proceeded to explain to me that I was NOT his teacher. Then I, with the most confident of 33 year-old faces retorted, "Oh, yes I am!" (That was a brilliant parental move....argue back...good one Rosy!)

Teddy has met very few battles he does not initially think he can win. He is overly confident (Hmm...not sure where he gets that!!). He is overly confident and he is quick on his feet...but not to quick for least not yet. Anyhow...he immediately replied, "No, you're not. You don't have school stuff so you can't be my teacher!" Boy or boy did I ever want to squeeze that kid at that moment in time. He's got balls!! Who does he think he is?? I have a Ph.D. and I spend all day teaching kids with autism and their families and he's got the nerve to proclaim that I'm not his teacher!?!?! the grace of God (most of my parenting falls into this category)I pulled it together and explained that in life, there are lots of teachers. Here is how our conversation went:

Rosy: "You're right Teddy, I don't have school stuff so I'm not a school teacher like Ms. Vargas."

Teddy: "Yep!" (Confident rascal!)

Rosy: "But there are lots of different kinds of teachers in life."

Teddy: "What do you mean?"

Rosy: "Well, take Gus...he's your piano teacher, right?"

Teddy: "Ya."

Rosy: "Does Gus have school stuff?"

Teddy: "No!" (Still not getting it)

Rosy: "What kind of stuff does Gus have?"

Teddy: "Piano stuff." (Duh mom!)

Rosy: "Right, he has piano stuff so he is your piano teacher. Now, how about your swim teacher...does he have school stuff or swim stuff?"

Teddy: "Swim stuff." (About to get it)

Rosy: "So he's still your teacher even though he doesn't have school stuff, right?"

Teddy: "Ya...your right." (Now he got it!!)

Rosy: "So daddy and I are you life teachers. We don't have school stuff, we have life stuff and it's our responsibility to teach you to be a man of character who loves God and is kind to every one. Right?"

Teddy: Nods his head and gets back to his homework (Mom-1, Teddy-0...okay I'm not really keeping track)

About half an hour later, Teddy walked up to me, wrapped his skinny arms around my neck and said, "Mom...congratulations on being such a great parent!" He then gave me a big ole smooch and went outside to ride his bike. I was speechless!! (Mom-1, Teddy-1,000,000 and I bet he IS keeping track!)

I love that story! Those of you who know Teddy can totally picture his cute freckled face with his perfect blue eyes having that conversation with me. The stuff that comes out of that kid's mouth is extraordinary!

Anyway, character is very hard to teach. Most of the time, we teach our children character not by what we say, but what we do! It is also true that people's genuine character is revealed in times of crisis. I hadn't really experienced this in my life until now. The depth of some people's generosity has been humbling.

My character is being tested on daily basis, minute by minute and I am struggling! I know that God is carrying me through this, providing me on-going strength, but I feel so weak!!! I HATE, HATE being weak!!!For a second, a split, on Thursday afternoon after I had met with the Cedars team and fully understood my daughter's death sentence, I thought, "Maybe what I should do is load up Todd and the kids into the van and drive off a bridge!" Trust me it was only a split second. Logistically, there really aren't any good bridges in Santa Barbara :) Just kidding!!

Although I joke about my moment of extreme weakness, I praise God for securing my heart in His strength the very next second! No human, irrespective of height, weight, wealth, status, race or creed is strong enough to walk through this storm! I completely submit to that reality. The strength Todd and I have, moment by moment, is completely Heaven sent and enriched by the hundreds of people praying for our family. Please continue to pray for us. Pray that God will give us wisdom and shower us in strength at each precise moment!
A girl can never be too fashionable or silly!


  1. Rosy,

    Though I don't know your family personally, I am praying for little Nina and your family. Allan & Carla Merrill are my aunt and uncle and I was talking with them on Wednesday night when they told us about about sweet Nina. My heart just broke for you as a parent. Only our loving God can give you and Todd (and your son Teddy) the strength you need as parents to make each day a gift to be with Nina.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with all of your family and friends here in your blog. I am sure I am not alone in saying that it makes all of us stop and be thankful for each individual day with our children and loved ones.

    I pray for you God's peace, His unending love and His understanding to be with you on this journey you are on with your sweet Nina.

    With Love,
    Shara Woods

  2. Hi Rosy, Todd, Teddy & Nina,
    We are thinking of you all here in Missouri. I am so proud of you all and am learning so much from your wisdom, experience, and thoughts. Know that you have people all over who are listening, loving you and with you in spirit.

  3. I love you guys. I find myself reading your journey and of course crying my eyes out but also so encouraged and in awe of what God is doing for you. Why am I surprised by what our God can do? Because my faith is so small at times. I do believe and have experienced myself and continue to experience the fact that God gives us what we need, the very moment we need it. Not a moment too soon and not a moment too late. His timing is perfect. Just when you think you cant take it another moment, someone calls or gives you a hug or you simply feel God's presence in a new and wonderful way. Thanks for sharing your heart and know that we are continuing to lift you up daily, hourly, minutely! (is that a word?)
    love you and cant wait to see you next week.

  4. "Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10