Monday, August 23, 2010

Praying for a Miracle!

Always ready for a smile!
It is with the saddest of hearts that I start this blog. As all of you know by now, our precious Nina has been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor in her brain stem. We have spent the last four days in a whirlwind that I would never want to inflict onto the cruelest of people. Nothing in life can prepare you for the pain you experience when you are told that your baby, the treasure of your heart, is dying and there is very little that can be done. After the longest, darkest, scariest, and most humbling and heavenly grace-laden 48 hours of my entire existence, Nina and I have returned home to join her daddy and big brother. We are so happy to be home and with the two boys we most love in the whole wide world!!

Indeed we are happy to be home, no one more so than Nina! But we are heartbroken!!! We have been told that we maybe have 6 to 12 months with our gorgeous butterfly!! We need a miracle!!! Every fiber in our being pleads Heaven above for a miracle!!! Please pray for our Nina and pray that we will have our miracle and that she will be healed! Please also pray for our strength and peace! If our miracle is that we got to have our angel for 5 years then we will praise God and rejoice. But in the meantime, please pray with us for her healing!!!!! All of our prayers will not fall on deaf ears!!! God is good and we praise Him for each and everyday we have with our Nina!

I also want to take this time to thank our entire family and all of our friends for the outpouring of love we have received. The news we were given was obviously overwhelming, but the love that has been given to us by hundreds of people, some family, some friends, and some complete strangers has been equally overwhelming. When life is safe and good, it is easy to get wrapped up into the mundane distractions of everyday activity and miss all the ways in which God's hand is ever present in our lives. However, when your life as you know it is destroyed with a few simple words....diffused interior pontine glioma.....God's ever present love and work becomes unbelievably clear!!! Each day has been a complete nightmare but also a blessing because we have finally seen how much God loves us. Todd and I have always understood that God loves us but we did not truly "know" the depth of that love until this week! We are humbled and thankful! God's word is alive to us today more than it has ever been!

At 5:15 in the morning on 8-20-10 I found myself thanking God for everyone's love, prayers, and blessings. But I also found myself wondering how we could respond to such could we keep everyone informed. That is when I thought it might be helpful to create a blog where we document all the aspects of this journey. Not only would this enable us to share all our information and the state of Nina's health with so many who love her and our family, but I thought it might be a cathartic experience for me and Todd as well...a way to document and never forget.

After much thought and prayer, I decided to create this blog as a daily journal, documenting all that we as a family are experiencing. Before starting however, I want to thank each and every one of our family members and friends. Thank you, thank you!!! I also want to thank a few specific people who held my hand each and every step of Wednesday-Friday, the absolute darkest days of my life.

I want to thank Dr. Daniel Brennan, our pediatrician and my colleague, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty in supporting our family! Dr. Brennan, you are a saint, a rare man in this world, and Todd and I are indebted to you forever! When I first met you 10 years ago, little did I know you would be the one to hold my hand and hug me when I received my child's death sentence. Our working together was not coincidence! God knew that you are man after his own heart and that you would be able to help our family, bless our family with your love and compassion! Thank you forever!

I want to thank Drs. Eduardo and Linda Marban, my dearest of friends and angels! Who knew that three people who were perfect strangers six months ago would be forever bound as family by the most treacherous of storms! Words cannot express my complete and utter gratitude for your love, compassion, and guidance. You stopped your own lives for days and spent every second trying to help me figure out how to save my daughter's. Without you, Todd and I could have possibly spent the rest of our lives wondering if we did everything we could. Because of you, we know we have left no stone unturned and with you, we will fight and pray with every fiber of our being for a miracle!!! Again, God in His infinite wisdom knew that we needed each other as families and he ensured that our paths would cross. We will ceaselessly thank God for you both!!

Yvonne Bruinsma and Eileen Klein, my two best friends. You are my sisters and you literally flew across the country to be at my side during our darkest of hours. The love you have for our children was never more in display than during this past week. Nina adores you both and you brought us both the deepest of comfort when we were so far away from home and our boys! God is so good to me and His goodness and love was present in each and every hug you gave me when all I wanted to do was sacrifice myself for my daughter's life! Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I love you with all of my heart and soul!

Gordy & Sharon Fredeen, Steve & Dolores Matos, Bruno and Michelle Matos, Shelli Jerner, John and Susan Becchio, Bob and Lynn Koegel, Holly Richard, Jenny Symon, Mendy Boettcher, Jim Stretchberry, Danny and Erika Openden, Larisa Shirotova, Katie Levinger, Jimmy Earhart, and all the brilliant staff and professionals at Cedars Sinai ....thank you for literally coming to our side in our darkest hour. You heard our cries and screams, held us, prayed with us, loved us! God's grace and mercy was constantly made real through your love. We are humbled and cannot thank you enough for helping us survive the worst three days of our lives. We love you beyond the expression of words!!!!

And finally, I want to thank my husband, the father of my two beautiful children!!! I love being a mom, but you were made to be a father!!! I cannot thank God enough for you and the gift that you are to our Nina and Teddy. I have known and worked with many fathers, but none can be compared to you!! You are our children's hero and they are secure in life because of how you have loved them!!!! I am so sorry for each and every stupid, vapid, ridiculous point of contention during our marriage. How empty those things are to me now! I am only sorry it took this catastrophe for me to realize how much of a treasure you are! I love you!

I hope that our families and friends will feel like this outlet allows them to be part of this journey with us. We love each and every one of you. Please pray for our Nina and pray that she be healed!! We need a miracle!!!

Nina- 3 months, Teddy- 2 1/2 years old


  1. Thank you for writing this and keeping everyone abreast of your experiences during this incomprehensible situation. I am so thankful to have the opportunity share my love and prayers with you through this blog. I am praying for Nina's miracle everyday!!!!

  2. You are a woman and as a mother that exudes love, faith, hope and strength. And that Nina, she looks like a fighter! My whole heart is with your family and friends.

    I've lost someone who was very influential, and I remember someone said at his service "I am less of man with out him in my life." I understood that feeling. BUT I quickly realized, I am more of a person and a better person because I had the chance to know him and love him.

    I admire you for acknowledging and accepting God doesn't always give us what we want. It takes an incredible and special person to not be mad, but we all give you full permission to be sad, as we are too. She's a beautiful girl, and I know, you are a better woman by having her presence in your life the last five years. Praying for your family has been an all day process since we heard the news. Can't wait for the ZOO!-Raya

  3. You and your incredible family have been on Ty and my thoughts day and night!! Good thing I DO believe in miracles, because I have been praying for your miracle daily, and have faith that God's hand and heart are surrounding Nina right now. Your words give me strength, Rosy, and I thank you for graciously opening your heart to us. It has reminded me that God is ever-present, and to take the time to reconnect with Him. May your days be full of laughter, and happy memories with your family, and may you always remember that you are not going through this battle alone. Whenever you feel weak, remember that we are all sending thoughts and prayers your way to provide your family the strength you need to get through this! Praying for your miracle,
    Erin Vernon

  4. Rosy, I am so grateful to know that you and your family know the same God that we know....we are loving you and praying for your sweet well as brother Teddy and for you both to remain strong and buoyant! Much love to you....God is a God of miracles...Praying for one for whatever form it comes! xxoo

  5. We know Nina's grandparents, Gordy and Sharon and we know that voice! We will be lifting Nina up for God's miracle as often as we can. My husband and I have lost precious people to us and we know how God uses these times to teach us and ground us deeper in His love and in His word. Our promise to be asking the Father for His touch on Nina, you, Todd and Teddy.

  6. Hey Rosy! It's me Marissa, I work for your parents at the bakery we've met many times lol. I just want you to know that i'm praying for Nina every single day and I have faith that God will grant her a miracle! Your family is amazing and I love your parents as if they were my own. It breaks my heart to see the tears in your moms eyes whenever we talk at work, and it breaks my heart that the same energetic little girl you've brought over to the bakery so many times during the holidays is so sick. My thoughts and prayers go out to Nina and your family! Have faith and be strong!

  7. I do not know you or your family but my prayers are with you...

  8. I received an email with Nina's story and blog from a friend; it left me heavy hearted. I do not know your family but wanted to let you know you and your family are in my prayers and the prayers of my church community. Your words of Faith, Hope, and Love are a testament to power of God's amazing Grace! May your road ahead be filled with, love, family, friends, memories, smiles, hugs, and God's miracle upon Nina....
    Sonia Rivera

  9. We don't know you or your family, but we would like to be in prayer for your precious daughter. We heard of this blog spot from a member of our church. We pray that the Good Lord will grant you this miracle of healing. He is all knowing, all gracious, all powerful, and full of wisdom. Praise be to His name and thank God we know Him. We, ourselves, are encouraged by your faith and perseverance. The Lord is with you, watching you, and keeping you. He is sovereign. We expect to rejoice with you and because of Jesus, we always have victory in His name. You have all of our love and support. God bless you through Jesus Christ our great God and Savior.